Gundam Babysitters
by theguywhohasaname
Summary: What would happen if the gundam guys had to babysit the rugrats? Read this and find out! Oh yeah, review it too. Please?
1. The Babysitting Begins...

Damn it... This isn't good. I'm starting another fanfic. If I keep writing successful fanfics, I'll be doing nothing but writing all day... Anyways, I don't know where I came up with this. It just all of a sudden hit me: What if Heero, Duo, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei had to babysit the rugrats? So here I am, sitting in my room, on my spinny chair (You know, the ones with wheels), at my computer, typingthis. (By the way... I'm male, cute, and single. Oh, yeah, I'm also the most brilliant genius in the whole damn universe, as well as unimaginably funny. And I'm modest, too.) Anyways, here 'tis...  
  
"" = speech (Duh)  
() = whispering when inside "", aka "Regular Speech (Whisper) Regular speech"  
() = Me talking about something or another (When not inside "", anyways.)  
= Thought  
  
Heero was awakened by the ringing of the telephone. He quickly made sure Duo, who had been sleeping next to him, gee I wonder why, maybe 'cause they're in loooooove, was still asleep before answering the phone. "If you move I'll kill you. I mean, hi." "Oh, hello, you must be Heero." "Yeah. You must be the guy that I don't know." The man on the other end laughed. "I'm Drew Pickles. I need you and the other four guys to come over and babysit for me." "Too damn bad. No, wait... We need the money... Fine, we'll do it. Where do you live?" Drew told Heero where he lived, and Heero woke Duo. "Duo, wake up, we have a job to do." Duo jumped out of bed (naked, of course. Hehehe...). "A job?!? What do we have to do? Steal a new prototype mobile suit? Destroy a few of Ozs bases? Go to outer space and protect a colony from certain destruction?" "Nope. We're babysitting." Duo frowned. "Damn it. I thought it was going to be something exciting this time."  
  
Little did he know, it would be more exciting than stealing a prototype mobile suit, destroying Oz bases, or even protecting a colony from certain destruction...  
  
Later at the Pickles' house...  
  
"We'll be real good for the nice boys, aunt Deedee!" Angelica smiled her biggest smile. Hehehe... This is going to be fun! "I'm scared... What if they're big and scary and mean?" Chucky asked. "Oh, don't worry, Chucky. I'll bet they're real nice, and they'll play all kinds of games with us an' stuff!" Tommy assured his friend. "Or maybe they're really big green slimy monsters!" Phil suggested, and Chucky dove underneath the kitchen table. Then the doorbell rang. Drew opened the door, and the five gundam pilots stepped inside. "Oh, hi guys. The kids are over there, if you look hard enough you'll find everything you need, have fun, bye." And then Drew and Deedee walked out the door to their car and drove away.  
  
"Okay... So, you're Angelica, right?" Duo asked. "Yes, I'm Angelica." Hehehe... They have no idea what I'm going to do to them, do they? "And this guy must be Tommy. Which means the red haired one's Chucky, and those two over there are Phil and Lil." Quatre said. Angelica smiled a demonic smile and walked over to Quatre, quickly changing her smile to an angelic one. "Hello, Mr. Babysitter guy. What's your name?" Quatre smiled and knelt down. "I'm Quatre. Nice to meet you." "Quatre, will you play with me and Cynthia?" She asked, showing him her Cynthia doll. "Sure!" Quatre stood up, and Angelica led him to the living room where she had all of her Cynthia toys set up.  
  
Phil and Lil ran to Heero and began pulling his legs in opposite directions. "Stop it!" Heero grabbed a pistol and aimed it at Phil, than at Lil. "Let go of me or I'll shoot!" Duo hit Heero. "Heero, stop it. Be nice to the kids." "That guy with the long hair seems nice enough... Maybe I'll just hang around him for a while." Chucky walked over to Duo and grabbed ahold of his left leg. "Hey, whatcha doing? Why are you hiding behind me? You scared or something?" Duo turned around so he was facing Chucky. "Hey, I've got an idea... You like cookies, don't you?" Chucky nodded his head. "Alright then. Follow me." Duo walked into the kitchen to search for cookies.  
  
Phil went over to Trowa, and Lil to Wufei. Tommy was the only one brave enough to approach Heero. "What do you want, Tommy?" Tommy looked up at Heero. "Let's go look for pirate treasure!" Heero looked surprised. "What the?" "Come on! We've got to get to the treasure before the pirates do!" "Duo! Duo, help! This kid just talked to me!" Duo came out of the kitchen, followed by Chucky, who was happily eating his cookie. "He can't talk, he's just a baby." "Hey, you can help look for pirate treasure too, Chucky! And you can come too... Uh... Duo?" Duo froe in surprise. "He talked. He just said he wanted me to help him look for pirate treasure. Right? I'm not going crazy, am I?" Heero shook his head. "He talked all right. Maybe we should do what he says and look for pirate treasure."  
  
"Um... Okay, so You're Cynthia. And I'm....?" "You're Cynthias dog, Spot." "Right then..." Quatre held the plastic dog figure in his hand. "So... What do I do?" Angelica smiled. "You get to get Cynthias newspaper, and her fuzzy pink bunny slippers, and her food, and her drinks, and her dresses, and anything else she wants." Quatre looked at her in confusion. "But... Dogs can't do that." "Cynthias dog can. He's a special dog!" Special enough to be Cynthias slave, huh? I can't be rude though, I have to play with her... "Hey, you aren't playing right!" Angelica yelled, and she hit Quatre. "OW! I'm sorry! I'll play right! I promise!" Angelica kicked Quatre between the legs. "OOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!! Hey, why'd... you... do that?" Angelica just smiled and hit Quatre again. "OW, stop it, please! I swear I'll play right! I'll get Cynthia her pink fuzzy bunny slippers, and her dresses, and her food, and her drinks, and her newspaper, and I'll change channels on the tv for her, and... And whatever else she wants me to do!" Angelica hit Quatre again and then said "Well, okay. Cynthia wants her dog to get her a cookie from the kitchen." Quatre went to the kitchen and came back with a cookie. Angelica took the cookie and kicked Quatre. "OW!" He yelled, and he fell to the ground. "You were too slow! Cynthia doesn't want a cookie anymore. Now she wants some milk. Hurry up and get her some milk!" Quatre ran back to the kitchen for milk.  
  
"You're Phil, right? My name's Trowa." "Hi. Wanna go dig out in the back yard for worms?" Phil asked. ".... Did you just talk??" Heero walekd over to Trowa. "They are talking babies. They're special. (Do exactly as they say. They might kill you if you don't.)" Trowa let Phil lead him outside to dig for worms. "You can use your hands or that plastic shovel over there. But if I was you, I'd use my hands." Oh, crap. I have to use my hands or this kid's going to kill me. I just know it. "Um... I'll dig with my hands, if that's all right with you." Trowa began digging for worms. "Um... I found one. What do I do with it now?" "Eat it. Duh." Trowa gulped nervously. "E-Eat it? Uh... Well, if you want, you could have it instead..." Phil shook his head. "No, you found it, so you get to eat it. I can get my own worms. Oh, I found one!" Trowa closed his eyes and dropped the worm in his mouth. He nearly choked on the worm as it went down. I'm going to puke! "Um, Phil, I just got an idea on how to get worms faster. Would you mind if I went and got something to help?" "Naw, go ahead and get it." Trowa ran into the house and to the bathroom where he then began to vomit.  
  
"Hmmm... Your name is Lil, right?" Lil nodded. "Right. I'm Wufei." "Hello Wufei. Hey, let's go catch frogs!" Wufei stared at Lil with big, wide eyes. "Hey, Wufei? If that kid starts talking to you, do exactly what she says or she'll kill you." Duo informed him. Wufei drove Lil to the park where they began searching for frogs. Wufei caught a frog after a few minutes, and asked Lil what he was supposed to do with it. "Put it in your diaper." "Um... I don't wear a diaper. I wear underwear." "Okay, put it in your underwear then. It tickles!" Yeah, I'll bet it does... You put it in your diaper, you little brat! Argh... I can't argue. She might kill me. After all, she can talk. Babies shouldn't be able to talk. Therefore I must assume she's capable of anything. Wufei put the frog in his underwear. A woman walked by just after he did that, and the frog had positioned itself so that it looked like he had an erection. The woman saw that and walked over to Wufei. "Is that a snorkel in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" She asked. "So, comeone, I'll let you take me to lunch." Wufei pointed at Lil. "I... I can't, I have to watch her!" "Your daughter can come too." "She isn't my daughter, I'm just babysitting!" The woman smiled. "Well, you can still bring her. It's okay with me." "But... You don't understand! I'm gay! I'm attracted to guys!" The woman laughed. "You don't have to play hard to get, honey. By the way, my names Betty." The woman grabbed Wufei by the hand and called to Lil. Then she took the two into a fancy restaurant and sat down at a booth.  
  
Tommy led Heero, Duo, and Chucky down to the basement in search of pirate treasure. "Hey, Heero, do you think there's really any treasure down here?" Duo asked. "Well, aside from you, there's absolutely nothing of any value down here." Heero quickly kissed Duo and then went back to looking for treasure. "AAAAAHHHHH!!! Tommy, there's a big scary monster over there!" Chucky screamed. Tommy grabbed a flashlight and led the others to the spot Chucky had run from. He shined the flashlight into the shadows. "Chucky, it's just a pile of clothes. Not a big scary monster. Now come on, we've got to hurry up and find that treasure before the pirates do." "Heero, this is boring. Why do we have to follow them around and look for treasure?" "Because if we don't they'll kill us." "How do you know that?" "I don't Are you willing to take that chance?" Duo thought for a while. "Well, if it was just me, yes. But I wouldn't be able to stand it if you died, so no." "Then we have to keep looking for treasure."  
  
To be continued...  
  
Well, that's the first chapter. Review it and I might put up another chapter, maybe even more. I'm tired now, so I'm going to bed after a long hard day of writing and listening to Cledus T. Judds songs for inspiration. Ta-ta, bye-bye, and so long. *Snore* Oh, crap. I fell asleep. Okay, review it, got it Good. Night... 


	2. Cledus To The Rescue!

Wow... I got two reviews the first day I had this thing posted... Cool! That's the best I've ever done... Well, because of those two reviews, I've decided to continue witht his fic. Hehehe... Don't worry people, I don't intend on having Angelica permanently damage Quatre. So, here we go...  
  
"WHERE'S MY MILK?" Angelica yelled. "I-It's right here! I've got it! I'm coming!" Quatre hurriedly came out of the kitchen and gave the glass of milk to Angelica. Angelica took a small drink, set the glass down, and kicked Quatre again. "Ouchies..." Quatre fell to the floor. "It isn't cold enough! Go get some ice, now!" Quatre ran back to the kitchen and came back holding three ice cubes. Angelica took them and put two in her milk, then put the last one in Quatres pants. "If you even think about taking that ice cube out of there, I'll kick you again!" So Quatre stood there, shivering, with an ice cube down his pants until Angelica had finished her milk. "Now Cynthia wants to have a tea party, so SIT DOWN!" Quatre sat down and Angelica got out her little tea set. "Drink!" "But there's no tea there." "It's pink tea, and it's good tea. NOW DRINK!"  
  
Trowa exited the bathroom. "That was just... Just plain gross..." Trowa happened to pass by the room in which Quatre and Angelica were. "Huh? Quatre, what are you doing? Is there even anything in that cup?" Quatres hand was shaking badly as he set down the tea cup. "Y-Y-Yes.... I-It's t-t-t-tea...." Trowa couldn't figure out why Quatre was shaking. "Why are you shaking like that?" "Partly from f-f-fear, and p-partly fr-from this ice cube in my pants..." Trowa reached inside Quatre pants and removed the ice cube. "Why do you have an ice cube in your pants?" Quatre pointed at Angelica. "She put it there and told me if I took it out, she'd kick me again. Between the legs." Trowa was furious. He marched over to Angelica and told her to leave Quatre alone. Angelica, in response, kicked Trowa. "OWWWWWW!!!" "Sit down and drink some tea!" Angelica demanded. "There isn't any tea in those cups!" Quatre tapped Trowa on the shoulder and shook his head. "Don't argue with her, Trowa, please! She'll hurt us! It's pink tea, and it's good tea!"  
  
Phil entered the house. "I wonder why he hasn't come back yet?" Lil wandered around, looking for Trowa. Then he found him. "Oh, no! Angelicas got him! Leave them alone, Angelica!" Angelica stomped over to Phil. "And what are you going to do about it if I don't, hmmm?" Phil saw no other option but to run. And so Phil ran down to the basement to find Tommy. "Tommy! Angelicas got Towtruck and Quarter!" Tommy stopped looking for pirate treasure, and he, Chucky, Phil, Duo, and Heero made a plan to save Trowa and Quatre from the evil Angelica...  
  
Betty batted her eyelashes at Wufei. "Uh... Why are you doing that?" He asked fearfully. "(I think she likes you.)" Lil whispered. "I'm flirting with you. Flirt back!" Betty kicked Wufei (Between the legs, of course) under the table. "OW! But... I already told you, I'm gay! I am not attracted to women!" Betty kicked him again. "You can stop playing hard to get now, you know. It's starting to annoy me..." Then Treize walked by their table, and Wufei grabbed his arm. "I'm serious! This is my boyfriend!" Treize pinched himself. "OW! Nope, I'm not dreaming... What kind of a cruel joke is..." Treize was cut short when Wufei kissed him. "(If you go along with it, you can be my boyfriend, okay?)" Treize nodded his head quickly. "Wow..." "What? He's your boyfriend? You mean you really are... You know....?" Wufei nodded. "Wha? And to think, I loved you!" Betty began to cry, and then she slapped Wufei and ran out the door. "Thanks Treize. Now I've got to get Lil back to the Pickles' house..." Treize stepped in front of Wufei. "Wufei? What about what you said?" "I meant it. Tonight at 8 good for you?" Treize fainted. "Guess so. Let's go, Lil."  
  
"Hmmm... So that little girl is forcing Trowa and Quatre to do whatever she wants? Yeah, right. I'll go show her a thing or two... I'm going to go save Quatre and Trowa from the clutches of the evil little girl, okay? Bye." Duo ran up the stairs and then looked for the two prisoners. "Oh, there you are. So, you're the evil little girl that's got these two cowering in fear, huh?" Quatre and Trowa looked up at Duo in fear. "Duo, don't make her mad!" Trowa begged. "Huh? Are you guys actually afraid of her?" Trowa nodded his head. "She's dangerous, Duo! Run, while you still can!" Duo looked at the two boys as if they were insane. Then Angelica made her move... "Hehehehehe.... And now it's your turn!" She said, and kicked Duo, but, just because Duo's my favorite gundam pilot (And 'cause he's so damn cute) Angelica missed and just kicked him in the leg, but it still hurt like hell, and so Duo, like Quatre and Trowa before him, fell to the ground. "Now, drink the tea!" "What tea? There IS no tea!" Trowa stared at Duo fearfully. "Duo! It's pink tea, and it's good tea! Drink it, fast, before she kills us all!"  
  
"Tommy, that is without a doubt the worst plan I've ever heard." Tommy frowned. "Well, what do you think we should do, Heero?" "I think we should go up there, grab Angelica, and SELF DESTRUCT!!!" Chucky ran and hid under the pile of clothes they had seen earlier. "Or we could just call a friend of mine. I'm sure he'd be able to save them." "Who is your friend?" "Cledus T. Judd. I'm certain he'll be able to save them from Angelica." And so Heero called Cledus and asked him to come over to the Pickles house and help rescue Quatre, Trowa, and Duo from the demonic-a Angelica.  
  
Cledus pulled up in the driveway in his Deloriun. "Okay, this sure looks like the place." Cledus opened up the door and stepped inside. "HeerO? Where are ya?" Heero opened the basement door and peeked out, then motioned for Cledus to follow him. Cledus went down into the basement. "Okay, so what's goin' on here?" Heero explained the situation. "Well... I could distract her while you rescue those guys. I'll be fine, she won't be able to hurt me." He explained his plan, and Heero, Tommy, Phil, and Chucky all agreed to it. "All right. Here goes..."  
  
"Now Cynthia wants... A hundred bajillion dollars!" "That kind of money doesn't exist, kid. It isn't even a real number." Duo said. Angelica kicked him again (Once again missing his genitals, and instead leaving a rather nasty bruise on his leg). "OOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!! Okay, Quatre, you're rich. Give her money, and QUICK!" Quatre pulled somewhere around 20,000 dollars out of his pocket and gave it to Angelica. Angelica laughed maniacally. Then Wufei entered the house, and made the mistake of saying there was no tea in the tea cups...  
  
"OW! DAMN YOU!" "Well, by the sound of that, I'd say Wufei has fallen victim to the evil Angelica as well. We must act fast." Heero said. So they all climbed up the stairs and went to their assigned positions. Cledus approached Angelica. "Hmmm... You know wot? I think there's somethin' a bit odd about you, little girl... Oh, that's what it is!" Then Cledus began to sing, and this is what he sang...  
"She cooks with lard, loves hot food bars  
a quart of sweet tea and fried pork skins.  
Can't get enough, eats 'til she's stuffed,  
goes to the bathroom then she comes back again.  
She thinks she looks just like Madonna when she runs her greasy finger through her bleach blond hair.  
Most times, she'll place another order, and lordy have mercy on that little bitty chair!  
She's got a butt, bigger than the Beatles,  
eatin' me out of house and home.  
Her booby size, well it oughta be illegal, she has a hard time sittin' on the throne.  
Hamburgers, hot dogs, cheese fries and coleslaw, a dozen bearclaws, yum yum yum!  
Loves sausage links,  
Hates diet drinks.  
Takes up both seats in a two seater car.  
Her doctor said  
'lay off the bread.'  
But he didn't say nothin' bout a snickers bar!  
She drinks sweet milk by the gallon and she'd never eat a salad or a lean cuisine.  
Then she'll lay, spread out on the hammock, after she's done her damage at the Dairy Queen.  
She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles,  
folks make fun 'cause she's overgrown.  
Her rumps shaped like a volkswagen beetle,  
she gives new meanin' to the words big boned.  
Bagels and cream cheese, vaniller ice cream, a tub of whipped cream, yum yum yum!  
No you won't find her name on the weight loss of fame, down at Jenny Craigs.  
When she cleans 'em out at the waffle house, they'll bring in more ham and eggs.  
She's got a butt bigger than the Beatles,  
her favorite food is chocolate ding dongs.  
It's wide enough to play line backer for the Eagles,  
Deon Sanders better leave 'er alone. (Don't have a clue how to spell that.)  
Try chicken (Couldn't understand the lyrics here), or a fat free milkshake,  
enough for gods sakes, stop the insanity!  
Weight watchers, yeah. Weight watchers, yeah."  
Angelica ran at Cledus and kicked him. "Aaaaaaoooooowwww!!! That hurt." Angelica kicked Cledus repeatedly, and as soon as the four gundam pilots had been rescued, Cledus ran out the door. "Whew, I'm glad I got out of there. That little girl is worse than the devil with a headache..."  
  
"Everyone okay?" Heero asked once they had all gotten down to the basement. "I didn't get hurt too badly, but I think Quatre and Trowa are going to need to see a doctor... And Quatre is probably going to need a psychologist, too." Trowa was over by Quatre, who was huddled up in a corner, trying to comfort him. "Poor guy..." Duo added. Wufei got kicked one less time than me, so I'm sure he's fine too." Wufei glared at Duo. "No, actually I got kicked one time more than you... And I got slapped, too. Some bitch named Betty came up to me at the park and forced me to take her to lunch, even after I told her I'm gay. She didn't believe me, and I got kicked twice because of it. And I got slapped because I kissed Treize and told Betty he's my boyfriend. Which he is, now, by the way..." Duo laughed. "Well, looks like you had a pretty bad day, too."  
  
Not very long afterwards, Drew and Deedee got home. "Oh, thank you boys for watching the kids, and here's your pay." Heero took the money. "I hope they weren't too difficult..." She added as she saw Quatre. "Aw, nothing too much worse than we've had happen to us before." Duo told her. Deedee sighed in relief. "Oh, good, I thought they might have given you some trouble." Then the gundam pilots went back to their house.  
  
The next day... The phone rang. Heero reluctantly made himself pick it up. "It's just barely past 6 am. What do you want?" The person on the other end talked for a while, and Heeros eyes went wide. "O-Okay... We'll be there..." Heero woke Duo. "Duo! Duo! We have to babysit those kids again! What are we going to do?!?"  
  
To be continued...  
  
Hehehe... See? No permanent damage was done to anyone. Yet. Except for maybe the psychological damage done to Quatre. That might be permanent. By the way, if you like that song, read my other fanfic Christmas, Christmas. It's got lots of 'em, and it's very entertaining. Regarding this fanfic, I had fun writing it, just like I do with just about all of my fics, and so hopefully you liked reading it. Um... One other thing. What the hell does OOC mean? Out Of Character, or something, perhaps? Tell me! And now, I must end this chapter. Don't forget... REVIEEEEEWWW!!! Byebye! 


End file.
